It was 1:00 AM and I had a panic attack.
I always deny something that happened to me. At first I thought that it wouldn’t have any effect on my life. As it turned out, it was a boomerang that could explode at any time. Before it happened, I was hanging out with my friends. We talked about whatever was thinking at the time. Nothing strange happened at all, even we laughed out loud. After a few hours, we went to our respective shelters before midnight. Suddenly, my hands felt cold and kept shaking. I don’t even know what happened. My mind was filled with anxiety and also my body tremble even tighter. I couldn’t cry at that time, so it made my chest feel tight.
It lasted for almost an hour and I haven’t stopped having panic attacks. Until finally I contacted one of my friends who actually I never went out with him. I don’t know who else to call. Because at that time, I was off from college and there weren’t many friends I could contact in the middle of the night. I also don’t want to contact one of my female friends, because it could put her at risk. At first I contacted him just to tell him about what was going on. However, it turned out that he had the initiative to help me more than that. He picked me up at midnight to calm me down. He tried to calm down by discussing many things to divert my mind. Unfortunately , all I felt was panic for no reason. Poor me *sigh*
After I got home, the panic began to disappear. Then I tried to calm my mind by closing my eyes until I fell asleep. After that incident, I tried to convince myself that the panic attacks didn’t happen again. But I realized, you can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.
Based on the facts that I live, the environment is very influential on the mindset that we have built in such a way. I returned to repeat the pain that never healed. But, I will continue to try to find the peace within myself that every day feels like churning. My immediate environment is destroyed, hurting each other, some are aware but others haven’t. How can we healed if trapped in a feculent environment?
The supposition is like a school of fish living in murky water, no matter how hard they try to calm themselves, if the environment continues to get murky then over time they will have difficulty breathing and even die.
The most effective solution is that you need to stay away from each other until everything is completely healed. But hey, life doesn’t work that way, life is full of pressure. Take it easy dear, you can get through it because you have a will and get used to it.
