It’s hard for me to express my feelings these days.
Everything gets complicated, and I’m kind of screwed up.
I left behind the saddest things I made like everything just happened.
Although I’m still struggling to enjoy the moment, it’s hard for me, it’s hard.
In the middle of the night,
I remember the mistakes I made to people who have tried to understand and love me sincerely.
At first, I felt sad that I had to do that,
Although right now, I’m happy he has found the happiness he deserves.
Unlike when we were together, I failed somehow for the umpteenth time.
I tried to calm myself down by saying, “At least you tried.”
It’s true! It’s going to be hard for me to accept the sincere feelings people give me because I’m still trying so hard to love myself.
But anything that feels difficult, might just grow into something beautiful and never imagined before.
Like a caterpillar that metamorphoses into a pretty butterfly.
Everything does take time, and on the sidelines of waiting, I just need to be more patient.
Suddenly it rains and leaves a rainbow.
Along with the reflection of the light they carried, I tried to slowly open myself up.
It turns out that many things are still the same.
The sad things are still the same.
The fun stuff is still the same.
I see people hug each other, hurt each other, and pretend to heal each other.
Ironically, they keep repeating it again and again.
Half a year has passed, and there are too many lessons that God has given for me to always learn and never feel satisfied.
I’m still waiting for the brightest light to come and bring me peace.
Sending the warmest hugs to all wounds that haven’t healed yet!
Tuesday, 26th July 2022.