I recalled an excerpt from Murakami's work, 'Sometimes fate is like a small standstorm that keeps changing directions.' I've been wondering what does it mean?
As fate’s storms raged around me, I gleaned myriad lessons from their tempestuous dance. There’s no sun, no moon, just me finding conclusion amidst the chaos. Oh! Fate or destiny, or whatever you name it, can be unpredictable and constantly shifting, much like a standstorm that changes its course unexpectedly. By this means, it encourages me to broaden my perspective and be resilient in the face of uncertainty. For sure, I never know where life will lead me along unexpected paths.
As a human who still has much to learn, that's the only way I am going to survive—by accepting the fate. But humans, they undergo a process. Before I ever reached the point where I am now, I used to flee from all the fates that nearly swallowed me. Yet fleeing from problems will become a ticking time bomb in the future, only to shatter me further. There's no other path but to train myself in persistence.
And when the storm vanished, I strive to continuously instill the thought 'live the way I wanna live it' within myself. I've been steadfast with myself all along. So I am immensely proud of myself when I seem comfortable with who I am. Now I'm where I belong.
It's 2 am when my overthinking acts up. I engage in self-talk to soothe my soul. I owe no explanations for my being, my emotions, my journey. Let slander echo until truth's resonance finds me. I just need to find a way to believe that the truth always comes out. Not that running aways going to solve everything, but to embrace destiny is to allow its flow, not to wage against its current. At least, that's what works for me in this moment.
I bid farewell to the dark corners where the sun doesn't reach. Core memories dance in my mind, shaping a memory in a tightly locked box. Oh, amidst the swirling storm, I discovered my essence.
I shall embrace slumber, awaiting the dawn to birth a new rendition of my being.
